Those four days down in Rio
God, I fell in love
Your body and your savoir-faire
Was what I was dreaming of
But the last six months engagement
Has been quite a strain
So before you step into that dress
I think I should explain
Let’s return the gifts and call the whole thing off
Let’s just cut our losses while we can
Ever since we met
I’ve gone deep in debt
Girl, who do you think I am?
I hate to break the news
But there will be no “I do’s”
Let’s return the gifts and call the whole thing off
What happened to massages
As we snuggled close in bed
You should have never quit your job
What was going through your head?
Everything you have
Is either leased or in a loan
One look at your mother
And you’d think I would have known
Let’s return the gifts and call the whole thing off
Let’s just cut our losses while we can
Ever since we met
I’ve gone deep in debt
Girl, who do you think I am?
You won’t give back that ring?
Fine, it’s fake — just keep the thing
But let’s return the gifts and call the whole thing off
Music and Lyrics by Jimmy Dunne